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Saturday, April 30, 2022

The Daily Babel: Easter Sunday Recap from Elevation Church

 

April 30, 2022 – Ron Young

 

CHARLOTTE—On Easter Sunday, widely considered to be the holiest day of the year for Christians, popular megachurch pastor, Steven Furtick, stole the headlines with his biblical and hard-hitting message.


“We don’t do enough,” he thundered, “We are enough – say, ‘I am enough’ – but we don’t do enough. And enough is enough.”


After the crowd of nearly 10,000 people sat down from their raucous applause, Furtick began to expound his meaning.


“Think about it, believe it, receive it, achieve it – say ‘I receive it’ – no one asked Jesus to come to this planet. No one wanted Jesus to come to this planet. No one invited him. He just did it. And that’s so like him.”


As choruses of laughter, chants of “ohhhh, it is!”, and scatters of applause faded away, Furtick brought down the proverbial hammer of biblical exposition: 
Jesus was an illegal immigrant! He broke the law for love, and he can destroy national sovereignty as well. Can I get an amen?”

 

He did.

 

As Furtick continued to share, scales fell from the eyes of those in the crowd as the Scriptures became alive like never before.

 

“He didn’t have a passport. He didn’t have a green card. He didn’t have a visa. He just showed up and showed out! And guess what? He brought a whole host of angels with him! A mighty host of illegals marching into the Bethlehem sky.”

 

“And what did we do?” ‘There’s no room for you, Jesus.’ That’s what the innkeeper said. ‘We are terrified of you, go away!’ That’s what the shepherds said to the angels. ‘I want to kill you!’ That’s what Herod said to Jesus.”


At this point, the parallel between biblical truth and American reality was so clear that Furtick didn’t even need to continue.

 

He did.

 

“So, when I turn on the news, and I see an army of illegal immigrants swarming our borders, I see angels, man! And when I see a group running through a field at night being chased by border patrol, I think to myself, ‘that’s Jesus right there.’”

 

Upon capturing the heartrending image of Christ being chased through a field by border patrol, the entire audience began to wail and lament. It was a moving of the spirit rarely witnessed in these times.

 

When asked about the final point of his message, or the practical application, Furtick replied with, “The gospel, man. If you are already saved, this church isn’t for you.”

 

When confronted with the fact that immigration is a complex and nuanced issue, Furtick said, “Listen, in the end, Jesus understood the situation and went back where he belonged. I think the Mexicans will do the same.”

 

We asked him if he had used Scripture to reach these wonderful conclusions. 

 

He didn’t. 

The Daily Babel: Airbnb to Rent Out Empty Tomb Amid Housing Shortage


April 30, 2022 – Stephen Sapp

SAN FRANSISCO—Online platform Airbnb has announced plans to place the empty tomb of Jesus located in Jerusalem available for rent on its website in the coming days. 

 

As the nation struggles with a housing shortage, co-founder and CEO of the peer-to-peer lodging company, Brian Chesky, says this was the only move that really made sense. 

 

“People are wanting a place to stay,” Chesky said. “Vacant properties of any kind are a luxury these days whether here or abroad. A vacant tomb just seemed like the obvious answer.” 

 

After being asked if he thought Jesus rose from this very grave, Chesky declined to answer initially. Later by email he wrote, “I’m not sure how this tomb became vacant. I’m just here to make money.”  

 

Studies show that Christians are a bit hesitant to embrace this move to commercialize an element of the Easter holiday. 

 

Judy Gallagher, a professed Christian, says, “My church would never go for such a thing as this. Easter eggs dropping from helicopters and the youth pastor dressing as the Easter bunny is as far as it should go. The holiday is very dear to all of our hearts and sacred to our faith.” 

 

Pastor Brian McDuffey of Capital City Church in Washington D.C. seemed to agree, “No one should seek to gain in any way from Jesus’ death and resurrection.” 

 

When asked if that included his church’s annual Easter event drawing thousands including last year’s plan to ceremoniously crucify a young man, McDuffey declined to respond seeing no relevance to the topic at hand. 

 

(Update: McDuffey’s lawyer also refused to respond citing ongoing litigation.) 

 

Airbnb says the tomb will be available for rent every night of the year starting this summer. 

 

The company also insists that earthquakes in the area are not a common occurrence despite any historical happenings which they could not confirm or deny. 

 

Monday, April 18, 2022

Miscellaneous: The Walking Dead - Ron

A lot of things happened when Jesus died on the cross. Crazy and unexplainable things. "The graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many" (Matthew 27:52-53). That kind of stuff. That's weird and may have led to some pretty startling interactions.

Then Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to all kinds of people over the next 40 days. We just celebrated His resurrection, and rightfully so, because without it "your faith is in vain; ye are yet in your sins" (1 Corinthians 15:17). Being raised from death unto life is a big deal in Scripture.

The Walking Dead is/was a big deal on TV. The show took the world by storm beginning in 2010. But before that show, Max Brooks wrote a book called The Zombie Survival Guide. Long before that, Audio Adrenaline recorded the song Some Kind of Zombie in 1997.

If you've never listened to the song. You should. Here's a link. Be forewarned, it was the late 90s and things were weird.

Anyway, the book and the song got me to thinking. Specifically, I thought about dead things coming back to life. And that sounds a lot like what happens to us when we accept Christ. Other people think the same way, apparently, and in 2013 the band Family Force 5 released a song called Zombie.

Here are a few of the lyrics:

I'm a zombie, who I want to be
Not a wannabe but a zombie
I know, insanity, unattainable, unchainable
Zombie-ance is uncontainable
Run for your-ru-ru-run for your life, what
Bon-Appetite, I got a new appetite
Transformed, be-be-be-be-reborn, uh
Love bites and it's in rare form

The lyrics are admittedly not genius-level, but there are a few things the redeemed will recognize. Thoughts about being unchained, having a new appetite, and being reborn among them. 

At this point, you should read Ephesians 2:1-10, because I don't want to paste all of the text into my post. The gist of those verses is this: we used to be dead in our sins and as a result we walked a certain sinful way. Christ makes us alive and because of this we walk a different way. In a sense, we are reanimated, like zombies. 

Everyone knows that zombies exist solely to make more zombies. Christians are commanded to preach the Gospel, evangelize the world, and make disciples. We can envision a world where Christianity spreads from person to person like a virus. 

So what if we had some fun and thought about Christianity through the lens of zombies?

Many of these main points come from a book called Z.E.O.: How to Get A(Head) in Business, by Scott Kenemore. The main points are his, but he is talking about achievement in the business world. We are talking about something else entirely.

As we get started, never lose sight of the ultimate goal: bring others to Christ. There is no room for compromise and 99% is not acceptable. Zombies don’t compromise, and everybody knows it. No one tries to talk a zombie out of what it is doing because it won’t work. It is suicidal, actually. As a believer, you need to project outwardly (to friends and family) that no alternative or substitute way of living is acceptable to you.

Step One: Refuse to act the way the world wants you to act.

No matter the movie, television show, book, or song, zombies never act how the normal world would like them to. The Bible tells us that we are not to be conformed to this world, either. In fact, we should be transformed into something entirely different (Romans 12:1-2). The passage in Ephesians 2 says much the same thing. So be bold and be different. You are called to it! 

Step Two: Don’t lust for things you can’t have

There are just certain things that zombies don't want. In the movie, World War Z, it was people with fatal illnesses or severe handicaps. It does you no good to offer a zombie a six-pack of double cheeseburgers. They aren't biting. Literally.

In the same way, there are things that are not okay for Christians to do. Paul lists a ton of them in Colossians, Ephesians, Romans, etc. As a believer, you may as well not waste your time pining after sin. Proverbs 23:17-18 says it like this: "Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off."

Step 3: Forget Peer Pressure – Like a zombie

Zombies just do their own thing, you know? There aren't any competitions or beauty contests. What would the world be like if we Christians could capture that mentality?

Too many times Christians don’t get involved because they cite personal failures, such as shortcomings in physical appearance or charisma, as reasons why they should wait. We defeat ourselves before an opponent gets the chance!

We must never hesitate to serve Christ just because we may fail to measure up to standards you feel society has set for you. Eliminate any negative thoughts about your own chances for success, rather, focus on breaking through the barriers like a zombie breaking through the walls of a top-secret testing facility. If you adopt a zombie’s resourcefulness, any physical or social disadvantages you face can be overcome – many times to your advantage (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Step Four: Take Initiative

No one has to give a zombie a motivational speech. The same should be true for trying to tell a Christian to live like Christ or to witness to others.

We should live and witness with our only thought being: does this make me more like Jesus and point others to Him?

Some people would rather not be involved unless they get to play a central role. Zombies know they all are playing an important role. No task should be beneath a Christian if it helps accomplish the goal. The same should be true for us (Matthew 23:11-12).

Step Five: Don’t remember who you were

No zombie ever returns to the life they once lived. A zombie’s old life is dead. They know it, and other people know it. Just the same, being a Christian should override anything we were previously. Once you become a Christian, who you were doesn’t matter. In fact, there may be parts of who you were that you need to give up and get away from (Philippians 3:13-14).

Your friends and family should know that you are different now.

Conclusion:

If each of us that named the name of Christ lived a little more like the reanimated, transformed, reborn, undead creatures that we are, I think we could turn the world upside down in no time. Think about it, have you ever seen or read anything about a zombie invasion where society wasn't turned upside down?


Sunday, April 10, 2022

Miscellaneous: "The Garden Tomb" - Ben

"Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. So because of the Jewish day of Preparation, since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there." 

John 19:41-42

The "garden tomb" is a contradiction of terms. And there is a cruel irony in how a place that is supposed to be filled with life is also home to the dead. This was not how it was meant to be. In the first garden, life was abundant. Death was nothing more than an ominous possibility rather than the harsh eventuality it is today. 

Adam—our ancestor—walked with God in the cool of the evening with nothing but the soft grass under his feet. Trees of every variety provided a canopy for their walks, shading them from the elements. It's hard not to imagine that plants of all kinds lined the well-worn pathway they would take. On the ground, animals would no doubt scurry about seeing to their creaturely tasks. And in the air, birds would flutter and flint their way through the bows of the trees, all the while whistling their sweet little half-completed melodies. 

In a word, existence was paradise. 

But sadly, it was not to last. Eventually, humanity took matters into its own hands. And in trying to become gods themselves, they ushered Death into the garden that day and welcomed him as if he was some long-lost friend. Ever since, some of the best-kept gardens on our planet have also doubled as gravesites, a mock reminder that though we were designed for life, we chose to embrace Death. 

For countless generations, men and women would be born only to die. Dads would be taken too soon. Moms would fall to some ravenous disease. Even children, innocent and unaware of the beauties in this world, would lose their lives before they ever even learned what it meant to truly live. Though Adam had many descendants, Death would dig graves great and small, and he would fill them all. He was the best at this craft, and he liked his job very much. Not a single person ever escaped his grasp. 

That is, until Jesus. 

Jesus was an extraordinary man. Born in a nondescript town to an unremarkable family, many called this son of a carpenter "Rabbi. "And though he was a teacher, he stalked Death for over three decades like some tenacious hunter. Wherever Death would set a trap, Jesus would be there to set his captive free while never losing sight of his prey. 

Once, Death was in the process of devouring a little girl. He hadn't finished his meal yet. But the end was close. So close, everyone could feel his slimy presence. In desperation, the girl's father, a man by the name of Jairus, sought Jesus out to ask him for help. And so they were off, trekking their way to the man's home. 

But Death was not worried. He did not yet know Jesus well enough to be properly worried. Death even chuckled to himself, "What could this son of a carpenter do? He might as well build the man a coffin." And his suspicions were seemingly confirmed when the girl died while Jesus was en route. Death had finished his meal and was well on into dessert. But, not one to miss a good show, Death watched out of the corner of his eye as he saw Jesus take the girl's hand into his. Curiously, he heard this teacher say, "Little girl…arise." And, to his surprise, the girl got up and started walking around. 

Moreover, dying must make a person terribly famished because the parents had to feed the small child the moment she awoke (cf. Mar. 5:43)! Ironically, that girl ate well that day while Death went hungry. He had never before been robbed of his meal before. And he didn't like it. 

Another time, Death took an only son. He had already taken the boy's father some years before, leaving his mother widowed. And he had every intention of going after the mother too. Death is obsessive, you see. He would need the whole family set. But that could wait. For now, he was satisfied with getting the last son of this house. After all, with no one to carry on the family name, Death contented himself knowing that he had killed someone's lineage as easily as he slew someone's little boy. 

But, out of nowhere, that same man interrupted the funeral procession. Death's countenance began to fade as he heard Jesus saying almost the exact same words to the dead boy that he said to that little girl: "Young man, I say to you, arise." Death mused to himself, "Was this Jesus mocking him? They are dead! Why does he keep talking to them like they’re only asleep?!" But he had only a moment to consider this when, to his great dismay, the boy, once cold, quiet, and lifeless, began to speak (cf. Lu. 7:15). 

Jesus had stolen another one. Death had been robbed again! "Something must be done," he thought. So, with great determination, Death set himself entirely to killing this roaming Rabbi.

Death amassed more than a few allies to help in his cause as time went on. The first to join him was Satan and his children. Death was shocked to find that Satan's own offspring weren't demons at all but humans who called themselves the "Pharisees" (cf. Jn. 8:44-45). But even more surprising was that he stumbled across an unlikely ally in one of Jesus' own disciples. "Judas," they called him, would willingly sell his mother for the right price. And, apparently, it only took 30 pieces of silver for him to sell out Jesus. And once Judas was on board, it was all downhill. From there, all it took was a few fixed trials to have him hung on a Roman cross. This Jesus didn't even put up a fight. "Honestly," Death said, "I thought it would be more difficult than this. It's almost like he wanted to die." 

Now, considering the other two crucified alongside Jesus had to have their legs broken before Death could have them, he was somewhat taken aback when Jesus muttered something about being "finished," and then that was it. Jesus was dead. Death had turned the tables. The hunter had become the prey. And, like so many who had died before, they even buried Jesus in a garden tomb. 

But, while Death's allies seemed convinced, Death felt an unease settle in his stomach. "Why would he roll over so easily when it came to his own life," he wondered. 

Then, at that moment, he remembered Lazarus. Death recalled how, despite the man's stinking and decaying body, Jesus was still able to raise his friend from the dead (cf. Jn. 11:39). And so, the day after the crucifixion, Death peaked inside that borrowed tomb to see if Jesus was still there. He was. Death breathed a sigh of relief. But, just to be certain, he came back on day two. "Good," He thought, "still dead."

On day three, Death went to that garden tomb more out of habit than anything else. But, upon arriving, he sees that, far from lying lifeless on a stone slab, Jesus was talking with one of his silly followers. And while they thought him nothing more than a gardener (cf. Jn. 20:11), Death was not mistaken. That was him. That was Jesus. Death would've recognized him from a mile away. Somehow, Jesus was alive! 

What's worse, Death felt different. He didn't feel as powerful as he did the day before. He felt weak. He'd never felt like that before. Causally, he takes his tail in his hands and sees, to his horror, his stinger had been ripped out root and stem (cf. 1 Cor. 15:55-57). Reflexively Death screeched, "WHERE IS IT???!!!" 

As if he had heard his forlorn cries, Jesus turns and meets Death's eye. Not only that, this man who should've been dead begins walking towards him. Death is afraid. He wants to run, but he can't move. It is as if Jesus' gaze has fixed him in place. 

Jesus comes to stand in front of Death, but he does not say a word. And with the effortless grace of one picking a flower, Jesus takes the keys from Death's talons (cf. Rev. 1:18).  For the first time in his life, Death was defeated that day. And, since then, “garden tombs” never again held as much appeal. 

Jesus had ruined it. 


Monday, April 4, 2022

The 10 Commandments for the Modern World | The Third Commandment - Stephen

 "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain*, for the LORD will not hold [him] guiltless who takes His name in vain.”

Exodus 20:7

(* = emptiness, vanity, falsehood)

 

Dear God,

 

I submit this letter to inform you of my great disappointment. I want to preface by saying that I hold you accountable for all that this letter entails. You are guilty of its content. You are guilty of its truth. And you are responsible for all I’m about to say. 

 

It would only be fair for me to begin by admitting that you gave me a pretty good start in life. You provided for all my needs. You cared for all my wants. And, as far as I knew, you listened to me when I just needed someone to talk to. For this, and this alone, I will say thank you. 

 

But this is where the gratitude ends. From this point in my life, everything I knew and enjoyed began to slowly unravel. The rules that you chose to put into place had become too stifling and infringed upon my freedom as an individual. I’m not a child. I don’t need constant supervision. I don’t need someone to tell me what to do or not to do. I can figure that out on my own. 

 

Speaking of being on my own, may I remind you that it was you who brought this person into my life. For some reason, you thought I couldn’t handle life the way it was. Sure, I went along with the idea for a little while but don’t try to pass the blame to me. It was and will forever be your fault. 

 

Without this person coming into my life the events that took place would have never happened. My life would have continued as usual. My surroundings would have remained the same. And, as far as I know, my heart would have remained content. 

 

I guess it’s true that you know all things and so you probably knew I would write this letter. Having known this, I decided to write it anyway. I figured it was a good idea to have my side of the story in writing. That way if anyone ever tries to blame what happened on me, they will have this to look back upon.  

 

Surely, some will still say it was my choice. 

Some will say it was my fault. 

And some will say I should take the blame. 

But, as my Creator, I am going to blame it all on you, God. 

 

As an all-knowing, all-powerful Being, surely you knew I couldn’t be trusted with a choice. Please leave me alone. I can handle it from here. You’ve done enough already. 

 

 

Sincerely, 

Adam

 

 

P.S. Eve loves the clothes you gave us before we moved. Somehow, I knew You would still provide despite me blaming You for all that is wrong with the world. 

_________________________________________________________

 

Using God’s name in a vain and false manner doesn’t always resound in the way in which we have become accustomed. Sometimes it is simply blaming God for a decision we have made ourselves and the consequences that follow. And when we use His name as a vain attempt to eschew personal responsibility in this way, we should readily admit that the roots of our ancestral tree are certainly showing. 

 

And He said, "Who told you that you [were] naked?

Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?"

Then the man said,

"The woman whom You gave [to be] with me, she gave me of the tree, 

and I ate."

Genesis 3:11-12

 

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, 

and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned—

Romans 5:12