Hope Renewed: A True Story - Ron

Alone and frustrated; a man with his thoughts

Flying in frontwards, back, and across.

Lost in the moment and dreading the future,

Afraid that past failures would tie in like a suture.

 

It is hard to be victorious when victory is fleeting,

And when all the forces of hell are bent on misleading.

But the struggle is real, and the battle is fierce,

And the man fights less valiantly with every enemy pierce.

He is up and moving; fulfilling his duties,

But his heart is far gone, and his thoughts are concluding

That failure is standard and maybe he’s lost,

And he can’t find the peace promised by the Cross.

 

He has preached it, taught it, and heard it proclaimed,

And for some it seems easy, so what is wrong with his brain?

Were the therapists right to say the chemicals are imbalanced

Was the Bi-Polar diagnosis not a result of his spiritual malpractice?

What was the reason for these lifelong addictions,

And why are they so strong and where is the main friction?

And why is the man, alone with his thoughts,

Considering an end to all life has wrought?

Why do his failures pile up like water

Waiting to crush this husband and father?

Where is the joy, the mercy, and grace?

And why has harsh judgment crowded their space?

 

He battles alone as wave after wave

Of trying and failing threaten him with the grave.

And maybe it is better, he realized with a start,

If his failures and disappointments ended with his beating heart.

And little by little, then more and more,

His castles all crumbled and he lost the safety of shore.

Completely unknown, lost without hope,

He put on his mask and continued to cope.

 

But the best laid plans must contend with the unknown,

And one can never know what tomorrow may bring home.

In all his inner sorrow and misery and pain,

He grew further from where he was headed when he began.

His love grew cold, his thoughts became selfish,

And his inward focus just beat him down further.

 

He was never enough, and he could never rest,

And sometimes he couldn’t breathe for the weight on his chest.

And “Where are you God?” He sometimes would cry,

And he’d weep for an answer beneath an ever-silent sky.

 

In Heaven’s throne room, perhaps the deceiver would boast,

“Look at this man-child, and judge who he loves most.

He is wallowing, now, so close to the end.

And I think that he is finally about to give in.

He claims to be Yours, but his faith is shipwrecked

And his hope is abandoned and the last time I checked,

He lives in his own power and everything he tries,

I’ve led him to think turns to ash before his eyes.

He is convinced he has failed at every turn,

And I can remind you of this, so sit back and learn.”

 

“You gifted him and blessed him and let him be a pastor,

And when he left that, I made sure he thought it was a disaster.

And he embodies that still, and holds it close to his heart.

And the failure that he keeps encroached on his new start.

And I reminded him daily that he was failing his kids,

And who knows if it was true, but I told him it is.

I told him he failed at his job and he failed with his wife

Soon he believed these things and he started dreading his life.

And he never turned to You, I’d beat him down past all that,

So what do you say for your “servant” who has fallen so flat?”

 

One can imagine the Savior, with pain in His eyes,

Stand at the right hand, and acknowledge the demise

Of hope in the man, and of faith in his heart,

And maybe with a tear, Jesus would start.

 

“These things are all true, and My child is a mess,

But My child he remains, and deceiver, it is you who must reassess.

I loved him before the world was created,

When he hated Me and would have gladly participated

In My crucifixion and torture and death,

I loved him then with My dying breath.

And my child is a wreck and sin has crept in,

And he feels too far and doesn’t know how to begin,

But I am still sovereign, and I will complete,

The work that I began, look, even now he’s on his knees.”

 

And the Word was true, for He cannot lie,

And the moment found the man far from wanting to die.

Instead, he decided to be in the Word,

And to do what he should, though it felt a bit absurd.

And little by little, and day by day,

He read more and more, and to pray and to pray.

One day he realized the weight on his chest,

And the pull on his life was because he was trying his best,

But he was failing at the one thing, the only thing, that mattered,

His relationship with Christ was worn and it was tattered.

 

He got down on his knees, alone in a room,

And cried out to God and begged Him to move.

“You can have it all,” he cried, from the depths of his soul,

“I can’t go on anymore, and there’s nowhere else to go.”

The burden was lifted and the fog dissipated,

The change was immediate and not anticipated.

And nothing else changed but a hope from within

And grace and mercy shone bright to guide him again.

And the man’s not alone, because he let others in,

And confessed and repented of his self-wallowing sin.

He found grace in the Lord, and is learning to show it to himself,

He knows his future is certain, and heaven is his wealth.

 

*This poem is a glimpse into my life over the past few years. I share it for those who may be losing hope even today, and for any that may be thinking of throwing in the towel. If you are angry at God, and His presumed silence, I assure you, I know how you feel. But feelings are not facts. We know this to be true, and the Bible tells us our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). I’d encourage you in these moments to ask yourself one question: “What is my relationship with Christ truly like right now?” If you find that it consists mainly of you frantically trying to bear life’s burdens all while screaming into the void, the problem is infinitely huge and insurmountable by anything you can do alone. 

You may be tempted to try harder. You may be tempted to serve more. You may be tempted to figure it all out before He will hear you. In the end, you may even be tempted to believe, like Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins sang over and again, “And I still believe that I cannot be saved” (“Bullet with Butterfly Wings,” 1995). But He hears you already. The hardest thing to do is also the simplest. Ignore the noise. Grab your Bible. Open it and read it.

For me, it was Bible reading that prompted me to pick up Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress again. One day, I read the following passage: "I hope to see him alive that did hang dead on the cross; and there I hope to be rid of all those things, that to this day are an annoyance to me. There they say there is no death, and there I shall dwell with such company as I like best. For, to tell you truth, I love him because I was by him eased of my burden, and I am weary of my inward sickness. I would desire to be where I shall die no more and with the company that shall continually cry - "Holy, Holy, Holy!""

It was quite shocking—although I don’t know why—to realize that I had not felt “eased of my burden” in a long time. I was clinging to the hope of heaven but weighed down by my failure to succeed in bright and joyful Christian living time and again. I had lost hope that I would ever be unburdened in this life. I cannot fully describe the darkness that surrounded my inner life for so long. I thought that I could battle and work my way out of it. I took on everything that life piled on top of me, and I endeavored to excel. But finances failed, children broke bones, and vehicles broke down continuously. The inner turmoil only increased. Finally, I got down on my knees, alone, in our living room, and I said something like, “God, I am beyond weary of my inward sickness. I confess that I have let the most important things slip in my frantic rush to be perfect in every other way. I can’t go on like this, and You know that. You can have every part of my heart and life anew, just please take this burden and put it on the cross where it belongs.”

The difference was night and day, and I don’t know how else to describe it. David asked God to restore the joy of his salvation (Psalm 51:12). I felt that. Paul tells us that it is God who will be faithful to perform His work in us (Philippians 1:6). I claim that, am living it, and am thankful.

Evidence-Based Faith – Ben Hyrne

Did you know that John the Baptist had doubts about Jesus?  I know it seems unlikely.  But it's true.  Read how Luke describes this low point in the prophet's life: 

John, calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to the Lord, saying, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” And when the men had come to him, they said, “John the Baptist has sent us to you, saying, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?’” In that hour he healed many people of diseases and plagues and evil spirits, and on many who were blind he bestowed sight.  And he answered them, “Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.” 

Luke 7:19-23 (ESV)

John was in prison (cf. Lu. 3:29-19), so his unfavorable circumstances likely had something to do with his wavering faith.  But what I like about this passage is that it shows us that even heroes of the faith can have their doubts.  When we look back on history, we often paint such figures as John the Baptist as being larger than life.  But, in reality, they were people too.  They were just like us.  They have their bad days.  And when they were at their lowest point, they, like us, wondered if the things they thought about God were true. 

But this should not discourage us.  If you're a skeptic, you should realize you're in good company when you read the Scriptures.  The Bible is full of people who were skeptical, inquisitive, and suspicious.  You see, it's not wrong to have doubts.  It's not wrong to ask questions.  These are good things.  Read the gospels.  Every time Jesus got done teaching, the disciples were bursting with questions. 

Sadly, Christianity is mischaracterized as a belief system that isn't based on facts, that it's all about blind faith.  But anyone with the patience to engage in a good-faith argument will realize this isn't true.  Say what you will about Christianity, but you cannot deny that its adherents have an evidence-based faith.  Critics may take issue with the proofs that Christians point to—i.e., the Bible, creation, reason, mathematics, chemistry, etc.—but only a fool would propose that Christianity has no factual basis.

In fact, as we saw in our passage, Christianity has a long history of honest skeptics and explorers looking for truth.  Rather than keep his doubts to himself, John the Baptist went to the source of his doubt (Jesus) and asked some hard questions.  Though he saw, with his own two eyes, the Holy Spirit descend like a dove and rest on Jesus (cf. Lu. 3:22) and though he heard, with his own two ears, God’s voice from heaven say, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matt. 3:17), the Baptizer still had his doubts.  But this did not discourage him, far from it.  His doubts prompted him to look closer, get more answers, and find out if what he once thought was still valid.

Likewise, we, too, ought to be asking hard questions of God.  He can handle it.  He knows the answers.  But we often turn our backs on God without ever really engaging Him. Maybe we're scared that He won't answer back.  Or, perhaps we're afraid that he actually will.  Maybe we're scared of the sort of answers He'll give us.  Whatever keeps you from asking the hard questions, do yourself a favor, and ask anyways.

John asked Jesus if he was "the One," which is another way of asking, "Are you the Messiah?" In response, Jesus performs many miracles in front of John's disciples and then commands them to go back and tell John what they saw.  The same way John's questions were answered is the same way our doubt can be answered: believing the testimony of Jesus.  John did not see Jesus' ministry firsthand.  He got his news from his disciples.  The only question is, would he believe the testimony? 

Like John, we aren’t capable of actually seeing Jesus.  But like John, we have firsthand testimony written down for us so that we might discover the truth for ourselves: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  The question is, will you believe the testimony of Scripture?  

Free to Obey - Ron

The last time that I wrote for the blog, I wrote about being a committed disciple of Christ. Without re-typing the post, I also gave four brief reasons why some remain uncommitted. Now that it is my turn to write again, I am writing about something that I hope is not too similar. In actuality, it kind of jumps off of Stephen’s post a little bit. Stephen wrote about the Civil War, how easy it can be to misuse the Bible (purposefully or not), and how important it is that we understand and apply the Bible correctly.

It seems to me like there are still battles raging all around us. As an actual war rages on the other side of the planet, there are some battles waging on the home front, too. The political machine is nearing top speed as we approach a presidential election year. The LGBTQ+ issue grew into a raging inferno during the month of June and isn’t going away any time soon. Discussions of COVID-19 have moved – for the most part – beyond the topics of masks and lockdowns and have settled instead on things like the efficacy of the vaccines and boosters. So, the pandemic remains a divisive issue. Americans have been on different sides of the aisle over border control, police reform, the U.S. budget, financial and military support to Ukraine, climate change and the appropriate response (if any), graphic and wholly un-biblical sex education geared toward children, and illustrated books in libraries which cover the same topic and appeal to the same audience.

Simply put, there is a bunch of stuff which we citizens of the United States are not actually united about. Not even all Christians are on the same page in trying to address some of these issues. And I am not saying these things are unimportant, either. But there is something of infinite importance upon which every Christian should be able to agree. And that is this: regardless of what goes on in the country/world around us, we have a duty to obey Christ.

In 1985, Bob Greene wrote a book entitled: Duty. If you have never read it, I highly encourage you to do so.  In the book, Greene tells the story of two World War II veterans, his father, Robert Greene Sr., and a man by the name of Paul Tibbets.

Greene writes, “Paul Tibbets had been the central figure in the most momentous event of the Twentieth Century; what he had done changed the world in ways so profound that philosophers and theologians will be discussing and debating it as long as mankind exists.”

This event was the dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan on August 6^th, 1945.

Over 1900 years before that, Christ and His disciples stood at the precipice of an event that is the most momentous in all of history. That event is the crucifixion of Christ, and His death as a sacrifice for all mankind. Just like Paul Tibbets was asked to obey his commanding officers, so too were Christ’s disciples asked to obey Him.

In Nik Ripken’s book, The Insanity of Obedience, he tells the story of a man named Brother Andrew. Brother Andrew recounted the story of two Muslim men named S and Q. Both came to Christ. S worked secretly for Christ in a place with fierce fundamental Muslims in leadership. Eventually, he was captured and killed. Q was not dissuaded by this and took over the care of the house churches in the area. After a few years, Q was also captured and killed.

Brother Andrew writes, “I look every day at that photo and grieve the loss of those two dear brothers. But I also marvel at their example. I am free to share Jesus with my neighbors. I can cross the street and knock on their doors. They may slam the door in my face, but I won’t be kidnapped or killed for talking about Jesus. Yet, how often do I go and talk to my neighbors about Jesus?”

Think about this: Were our grandparents freer to live for Christ and His glory in their day than we are in ours? Are we freer to live boldly for Jesus in our democratic republic than our brothers and sisters immersed in radical Islam and living under Sharia law?

Understand this: every single follower of Christ has the freedom to share the good news of the gospel. Every follower of Christ has the freedom to choose what is right and shun what is evil. Every follower of Christ has the freedom to walk in good works. In every setting and in every country.

There may be different consequences for our obedience to Christ, but we are always free to obey.

Bob Greene asked Paul Tibbets, “Does the United States feel like a place you hardly recognize?” Tibbets’s response was, “It’s really not the same country, in many ways. Talk to a bunch of kids in school – try to teach them something. There are times when you get the impression that they don’t like to pay attention to anyone or anything but themselves. I know I sound like an old person when I say this, but there is a certain price to be paid – a certain peril – that comes with the lack of being raised in a disciplined environment.” There is a price that will be paid when Christians are not disciplined enough to answer the call of Christ.

There is a lot of important and emotionally charged STUFF going on right now. There is uncertainty and unrest in the air. You may find yourself spending more time on social media trying to keep up with it all and coming away more depressed. You are probably even reading this because of social media. Hopefully, though, this post energizes and emboldens you.

Beneath all the noise, remember this: We are always free to obey Christ, and we have the privilege of answering Jesus’ call.

References & Further Reading:

Andrew, B., Sherrill, J., & Sherrill, E. (2015). God’s Smuggler. Chosen Books.

Greene, B. (2000). Duty: A Father, His Son, And The Man Who Won The War. William Morrow.

Ripken, N., & Stricker, B. (2014). The Insanity of Obedience: Walking with Jesus in Tough Places. B&H Publishing Group.