5th Monday: "Ministry: A Day in the Life" - Emory Hyrne

Now, I know what you are thinking. Emory, don't you mean “a year in the life?” No, that is a fantastic Netflix special about the Gilmore Girls. And since you know this, I now know that we can become good friends. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just fall in love with coffee, and you're halfway there.

In a conversation with Ben about Middlings topics, I somehow agreed to write a thing. I’m not sure how it happened. The talk we had is actually a bit of a blur. Come to think of it, I’m almost positive that Ben made it up. In my right mind, I know I'd never agree to do this. I take on more of the editing role in Ben's writing, which comes more naturally to me. 

If you don’t know me (which is very likely), I am an expert coffee drinker, avid reader, mother of two littles, and the wife of one, Ben Hyrne. We serve at a small church in Baltimore as ministry coordinator (me) and lead pastor (Ben).

I thought I'd take a snapshot of what life is like in Christian service as a vocation. Maybe this will simply encourage you or, if I may be so bold, give you a new understanding of those in church leadership. What follows is nothing more than a few broad observations of church work. First, I’d like to mention a couple of challenges in my line of work, and then I’d like to move on to tell you how I am learning to meet those challenges.

I'm not sure what the assumptions are for church leaders, but I try to dispel those whenever I can. Doing what we do is challenging in some unique ways. We get to see people at their best moments and at their worst. For instance, think of the drama in your own life that you might share with a ministry staffer and then multiply that by the number of people in your church. And then add a few more, just because we get walk-ins sometimes. Not only is this a math lesson, but it also illustrates what we encounter every week. People in ministry share in the joys of births, baptisms, or a friend accepting Christ. But then we also cry with someone who’s just received an unfavorable prognosis. Or, like some spiritual first-responder, we’re called to the scene of a life in shambles, and then we try to help them sort through the rubble. Any part of this can happen in any order at any time.

Life comes with ups and downs in general, but, to a certain extent, we experience these epic ups and downs with every church member many times over. That’s hard to do! Personally, I'm very empathetic. I feel for every person I encounter, which, at times, can be a double-edged sword. I don't share this to make you rethink that thing you wanted to talk with your leader about, only to give you insight. We happily (and sometimes unhappily) do life with people. This is 100% a calling, and I wouldn’t choose anything else for myself. 

What's also challenging is worshiping at church! Yes, you heard me correctly. I work where I worship. Just this morning, I unclogged a toilet, helped reconnect a PowerPoint presentation, and then made announcements…all during morning worship. Then, I noticed that a light went out in that classroom again(insert facepalm here). Sometimes working in ministry, I have to remind myself that I need to pause and worship. Occasionally turning off to worship at church feels like eating dinner in your unfinished attic. Or like bringing your office home with you and shoving it in your bedroom, as many of us experienced during Covid.

The only way we can do what we do is by a complete reliance on Christ, healthy boundaries, and solid self-care practices. To help me explain these principles, let's use a made-up parishioner. Let's call her something awesome like "Sally."

One of the first things I realized about ministry is that I'm not the answer to anything Sally needs. This is quite a freeing revelation and also keeps my pride in check. (If you weren't sure who is, the answer is Jesus.) My goal in ministry isn't to make people rely upon me to "fix" what's broken. That is an impossible weight that no one, except Jesus, can carry. My goal is to speak truth and help people become more acquainted with him. I can be an encourager, or I can be a listener, but knowing I’m not the solution means I'm placing the focus where it needs to be (cf. 1 Pet. 5:7). And just as I should know that I cannot fix Sally, Sally shouldn’t expect me to be her “fixer.” What she needs is Jesus. We must rely on Christ to work the miracles. He’s the one who relieves burdens (cf. Mat. 11:28). I just need to help Sally work that out in her own life. 

Next, let’s discuss boundaries. Going back to our amazing Sally, this might mean I don’t respond to every text immediately. I make it a point to "turn off," unplug, or power down from work. You get the idea, right? Cause I can just keep going…unwind, let loose, jazzercise… ok, now I’m done. I make family time. Ministry will still be there tomorrow. The needs will still be as great tomorrow as they are right now. And since, as we discussed above, I know that everything’s not hinging on me, I can “be” home when I’m at home. Being mindful and creating boundaries are so important.

Now, let’s talk about self-care. When I say "self-care," I'm talking about being mindful of yourself—physically, emotionally, spiritually—and processing those things in healthy ways. After all, as ministry workers, if we can't take care of ourselves, how can we help care for others? Self-care in life is essential, especially so for someone who serves people. You don’t crush life by shoving your feelings down and ignoring your body’s tells. God gave us emotions, and it's unwise to shove them down and ignore them. An excellent book I read says that every emotion can be an act of worship when we acknowledge them and take them to God.  God also gave us bodies that will physically give out if we don't care for them. Good luck serving God without a body (a little bit of dark humor there). Helping the “Sallys” in the world (and hopefully doing it well) means that you also care for yourself. 

There’s a misconception out there that you can never think of yourself to truly serve God. This is both untrue and unhealthy. Jesus is the living water that never runs dry. I don't know about you, but my proverbial well runs dry on the regular. I'm not infinite in emotional currency like God is. And what an excellent thought that is!! God is always ready, able, and willing to hear us! 

Even with the challenges, being in a serving role is a rewarding role. Taking part in the journeys of so many others means I also get to celebrate those breakthroughs and victories with them as well. In my humble opinion, there's nothing better than seeing God do a great thing and seeing him use my gifts to make a lasting impact. I love what I get to do.

“But Emory,” you might say, “what do I do with all of this?” Well, Sally, maybe you need to implement healthy boundaries as much Ben and I do; leave work at work, and be home when you’re home. If the concept of self-care seems bizarre, let’s talk about that! Or maybe you should give that church leader who didn't notice you sitting there last Sunday the benefit of the doubt. Maybe think about the expectations you have of your leaders and consider their reasonableness. 

This article was certainly not comprehensive, but I hope it gave you insight into vocational Christian service as I’ve experienced it thus far. I love you, friend, and I wish you a wonderful week. Let's discuss life sometime, over coffee, of course.

Hindsight is 20/20 [two]: Using Hindsight to Live Right - Ron

When I was a sophomore in college, I had a business card printed with a future ministry in mind. It said: Hindsight Ministries: Helping your look back, look better." In hindsight, I'm glad I never tried to push for that as it seems kind of lame.

But hindsight is fun. Especially when a person pontificates on how different from yours his choice would have been in the same situation. Every person knows how perfect our track record would be if foresight was equal to hindsight. But it isn't.

It is also fun living in an age where almost everything that one says and does is kept via a digital record giving rise to the saying, "that didn't age well." One of my favorites is when Blockbuster used Twitter to ask people to tweet out why they were leaving Netflix using #GoodbyeNetflix as a tag. That was September of 2011, and now I have to explain to my students what Blockbuster was. Surprisingly only to the social media geniuses behind the Blockbuster account, my students all know what Netflix is.

So, yeah, you can use hindsight to be a jerk and try to gain a one-up on your frenemies. Hindsight can give us a laugh at the expense of someone else. But, surely, there must be something positive that we can learn from stuff that has happened before.  

In Judges 1:21 and 27-35, the Bible records that people groups that should have been driven out of the land by Israel were not, in fact, completely driven out. Judges 2:1-3 relates to us God's chastisement and the consequences: "...ye have not obeyed my voice: why have ye done this? Wherefore I also said, I will not drive them out from before you; but they shall be as thorns in your sides, and their gods shall be a snare unto you."

Later, in the same chapter, Joshua's generation passes off the scene and the new generation "knew not the Lord, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel" (2:10). So they forsook the Lord, chased after other gods, fell into sin, captivity, and then mourning until God "raised up judges, which delivered them out of the hand of those that spoiled them" (2:16).

Of course, the repentance didn't stick, and not long after the deliverance the people "returned, and corrupted themselves more than their fathers, in following other gods to serve them, and to bow down unto them; they ceased not from their own doings, nor from their stubborn way" (2:19).

God's chosen people went through the same cycle over and again. No one benefited from the previous failures. At least, they didn't benefit in any way significant enough to break the cycle. And we can be the same way. Below is a piece that I wrote quite some time ago as a reflection of my own struggle with this cycle of failure.

We crumble to pieces and completely fall apart, broken over the same rock again and again.
Gasping for life and choking on death, we are frantic for rescue. But failure is the current: strong and relentless.
Thrown upon the shore, we are battered, frightened, disillusioned, remorseful, ashamed, but resolute in our desire to improve.
Our strength to stand is gathered; strength to move is gradually coming. We must move forward and away.
Danger falls with the tide and a shadow is cast over our memory of the very real danger.
Giant rocks appear above the surface and knowing their location allows for distance and security.
The beach is a beautiful place, so warm and inviting. The sunrise is awesome; paralyzing.
The strength to move melts into a desire to stay and dwell in this calm, serene and safe glory.
Tides are rising and the jagged rocks are disappearing, waves breaking against them.
Water touches our feet, but the scenery and comforts are captivating.
So we crumble to pieces and completely fall apart, over the same rock we are broken again.
Gasping for life, choking on death, we are frantic for rescue, but failure is the current; strong and relentless.
Thrown upon the shore we are battered, frightened, disillusioned, remorseful and ashamed.
We embrace a new resolve to stand and then to move, move far forward, and away.
But danger falls with the tide and a shadow is cast over our memory of very real danger.
And we stay, and we fail.

How can we use hindsight to live right? I think the answer is back in the book of Judges. We know that the people did not obey God and then their children did not remember God. When Christ is speaking to the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2, He tells them to use hindsight ("Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen") and then to repent of their sin and "do the first works" (v.5).

Much like the folks in Scripture, the key to utilizing hindsight for our betterment is learning from it. Remember, repent, and do. Take an action. Don't get lulled back to sleep by near misses. We are far too often like one who dozes off while driving and drifts into oncoming traffic. The flashing lights and blaring horns wake us up, but too often we keep driving rather than use our second chance to get off the road.

The beginning of a New Year is as good a time as any to reflect on failures of the past, repent, and then resolve to do what is right. And if you dig into the Bible, you can benefit from hindsight that stretches thousands of years into the past. As you learn lessons from people of long ago, you can be armed with something that looks an awful lot like foresight. This is because no matter how much the world changes, principles of godliness and right living never will.

Hindsight is 20/20 [two]: God’s Plans > My Plans - Ben

Jesus’ first recorded words on earth were, “Why did you seek me?  Did you not know that I must be about my Father’s business?” This quotation is found in Luke 2, and it takes place during the adolescent years of Jesus. 

Admittedly, this particular story has a familiar ring to it.  After all, on its surface, it seems to be about a couple of parents scolding their twelve-year-old for being too independent.  How many of us have a similar story where we, too, were reprimanded for going outside the bounds of what was acceptable?

Personally, I never saw my parents more upset than this one instance when I was 10.  One night in May, my mother had lectured us about not being late as Joe, my older brother, was graduating from high school that evening.  Given that Joe has a learning disability, this was (and still is) a considerable accomplishment.  But like all 10-year-olds who are out with their neighborhood friends, time got away from me.  When I finally did realize that I needed to get home, I discovered that I was too late.  When I hit Talisman Drive, I noticed the driveway of my house was empty.  My family had gone without me.  I can still remember my mother saying later that evening, “I have never been more disappointed in you.” Yes, she turned the deadliest weapon she had against me: mom guilt. Even after 24 years, that wound still aches. 

But the difference between me at 10 and Jesus at 12 is that I was incompetent, whereas Jesus was in complete control.  You see, while that scene in Luke 2 might seem like your typical story of a hormone-crazed-pubescent rebelling against his parents, in reality, it's a story about a boy who wanted nothing more than to be in his Father's house and to be about his Father's business.  Far from being disobedient to Mary and Joseph, Jesus was being obedient to his heavenly Father.  While everyone, including his own parents, did not understand Jesus’ purpose for coming, Jesus never doubted his purpose, even at twelve.  He never once stepped away from his calling.  From the cradle to the cross, he was the Son of God, and he would do what his Father wanted him to do. 

As you look back on 2021, how many regrets do you have?  I know that most, if not all, of the regrets I have, are a direct result of me veering away from God’s plan for my life.  That, unlike Jesus, I was more concerned with my own desires than God’s.  Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take me long before I discovered how utterly ridiculous that kind of thinking was (i.e., “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.”).  But, goodness, how many times does God have to teach me that His plans are greater (">") than my plans?  Or, how easily I forget how freeing it is to be a part of a calling that is bigger than myself?  In fact, even now, it is difficult to express how liberating it is when you finally divorce yourself from your own importance and are consumed by the importance of God.  Being all about our heavenly Father's business is the single greatest calling we can have for our lives.  

Honestly, this is applicable at every possible level.  But, for the sake of time, I'll give you two examples of how God has applied this truth to my life. 

The Parental Level

By and large, the plans that parents have for their children are almost always good.  But for Christian parents, it is essential to remember that God's plans for each child are always better.  And while this may be difficult for some to hear, this means that God's mission may even override parental mandates. 

Now, I'm quick to remind any readers who are still living under their parent’s roof, you are NOT Jesus.  Jesus had an awareness about himself at twelve that many will not have until they're thirty, and most will not have at all.  So, no, I am not encouraging you to be disobedient or defiant.  The child who obeys their parents will eventually find they're living a life they didn't know they wanted but are nevertheless glad that they live it (cf. Eph. 6:1-3).  Dear teenager, familial guidance has a way of rescuing you from a multitude of heartaches. 

However, to those raising children, it is essential to realize that parenting is as much about leading a child to do the things you want them to do as it is about teaching them to do things that God wants them to do.  Thus, the aim of every parent is not to get their child to listen to their voice only, but it is also to get them to listen to the voice of God (cf. 1 Sam.  3:7-10).  God's plans for our kids are always greater (“>”) than our plans for our kids. 

The Professional Level

So many have consumed their lives trying to get up the corporate ladder.  They fight their way to the “top," only to discover that it's lonely at the top.  Success, of any kind, never really satisfies.  I would wager there has never been a more disappointing achievement than wealth and prestige.  Jesus even said in Mat. 16:26, "what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” Meaning, we can spend our entire life “winning” but, in the end, still lose if what we’re after can be attained here on earth. 

This is NOT to say that success in one's professional life is wrong.  It is good that whatever we do, we do it with excellence, and, typically, excellence is rewarded with promotions.  So long as we do what we do in service to the Lord, it is a good thing (cf. Col. 3:17).  But the point I’m trying to make is the very same one that DL Moody made over two hundred years ago when he said, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at something that doesn't really matter.” 

However you slice it, God's plans > our plans. As you look forward into 2022, make an effort to adopt God’s will for your life. Mark my words, any who do so will have the greatest year of their lives. 

Hindsight is 20/20 [two]: When a Movement Meets the Absurd - Stephen

Looking back at 2020 and this past year just ended, we might think we have a lot of examples of a movement meeting the absurd:

·      A Gender Equality movement meets the removal of Mr. Potato Head[1] and changes to the characters on traditional playing cards[2].

·      A Racial Equality movement meets the removal of minority personalities from bottles of syrup (Aunt Jemima) and cases of butter & cheese (Land o’ Lakes), as well as a re-theme of an amusement park water ride based on a movie which no one has been allowed to watch in over three decades (Splash Mountain/Song of the South)[3].

·      A Political movement including a man with a horned hat and painted face meets protests and the invasion of the Capitol building in Washington DC (No footnote provided because we all know what happened). 

    

   The list in our minds might also include different sides to the Critical Race Theory, the Defund Police movement, the vaccine mandates, or any other social banner with which you or I may disagree.

 

But, no matter how you might think of these movements, who’s to say what is truly “absurd”? When it comes to a social fight of any kind the definition of that very word can only be defined by the ones doing the fighting. Those outside the fight may not see the movement itself as valuable so why would they consider the means of the fight as such? 

 

This does not mean we cannot logically argue or lawfully oppose the actions of these movements if we so choose. It simply means you cannot completely write them off as “stupid,” “idiotic,” or “gone too far” and expect those within the movement to start singing “I Saw the Light” while moving over to your side. Calling the actions of any movement you don’t agree with as simply “absurd” only makes your side of the argument seem illogical, lazy, and a better definition of the word you just hurled at them. 

 

Although I cannot and will not always defend the actions these movements make, as the saying goes, “Value is determined by the price someone is willing to pay.” And I believe the same thing is true when a movement meets the absurd—only those within the fight can truly determine the value of its gains (or losses for that matter) even if they are in the wrong. 

 

If we truly consider these actions ridiculous then may we take the time to understand the value system at the heart of the movement itself. Then we will have a better understanding of the actions taken and the reasons for them. Conversations that ensue do not scream that we agree but, if nothing else, it will at least show us that a one-word, derogatory answer is never enough to prove a point or sway our social media friends. 

 

In today’s world, the idea of being patient and entering a dialogue with those on the other side seems pointless at worse and naïve at best. I get it. More than likely someone will throw both of those words at you if this is the strategy you take. But, with that said, I think it is the best game plan we have if we are ever going to make a real difference in any of these conversations. Why? Because many of these issues and movements are simply branches attached to the trunk of one’s core beliefs. And until the root system is dealt with, the branches will continue to blossom the same fruit. 

 

 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.”

Proverbs 9:10

 

Take careful notice of what this verse is saying. If one desires the fruit of wisdom and understanding in their life or someone else’s, it must begin with a root system of fearing/respecting/honoring the Lord and His place in this world. And this should be what we ultimately desire. 

 

For us as Christians not to consider the “roots” more important than the “branches” in the grand scheme of things is closer to absurd than we might realize. For we will only ever get to the “root” if we are willing to see the “branches” as the lesser issues. Such issues should still be discussed, dealt with, and probably need to change in some fashion but of less importance nonetheless.  The fact that over the last year the chant “Let’s Go Brandon” has seemed (at least publically) to supplant the obedience of some to “prayers, intercession, and giving of thanks…for all that are in authority”[4]shows that we may have a ways to go on this yet.

 

In Matthew 22, Jesus exemplified this path for us when the religious leaders asked Him about two major cultural issues—marriage and taxes to the Romans (aka death and taxes…I’m kidding). Jesus answers both questions at hand but then immediately moved each issue to the eternal. In other words, He wasn’t satisfied in dealing only with the “branch” issues but always confronted the “roots” of the eternal beliefs at the heart of those asking as well.  His answers in summary—

 

“Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.”

Matthew 22:20

 

“…In the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.”

Matthew 22:29-32

 

This explains why the harshest words of Jesus and the Biblical writers that followed were always directed at the theological heretic or the religious hypocrite but rarely the political foe. Because in their minds the eternal standing of others always trumped their earthly affiliations. And if they could only influence one, they would willfully choose the former. It would seem these all believed, even in their day, that the true fool “hath said in his heart there is no god” (i.e. Ps. 14:1), not “there is no king but Caesar.” 

 

To summarize it all, there is only one area in which I can truly say a movement met the absurd without any further discussion. When I look in the mirror and think about how valuable I am, I might be a bit disappointed. I might see a nose too big, a mouth too small, and hair that resembles the children’s rhyme “Fuzzy Wuzzy” (if he actually had hair). But I must remember how valuable I truly am by how much someone was willing to pay for me—not in money but in sacrifice. In this and only this can I completely and unequivocally say a movement (i.e., person) met the absurd (i.e., me) and leave it at that. And I, for one, am eternally glad it…He…did.

 

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:8

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[1] https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/25/business/mr-potato-head-hasbro-gender-neutral/index.html

[2] https://abc3340.com/news/offbeat/teen-invents-new-gender-equal-playing-cards-that-are-racially-diverse

[3] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/25/business/media/disney-splash-mountain-princess-frog.html

[4] 1 Tim. 2:1-2, KJV.