What is Something Our Society is Not Talking About but Should Be? - Conclusion & Stephen's Response to Ben

“Everyone hears themselves talking but do any of us feel like we’ve been heard?”

This quote for me was the most important in Ben’s post last week.

Ben could have waded into the easy waters of bad-mouthing both presidential candidates and their seeming inability to let the other speak in their first debate. Although he used their examples as a diving board into a greater pool of discussion, he did not stay in the shallow end that is so easy for all of us to tread—pointing our fingers at our leaders as the source of all our problems.

Instead he brought the subject into the deeper end of our own lives and OUR inability to let others speak. In doing so he brought to light what all of us already know—that first debate was merely a public expression of what we see and take part in on the social platforms every day.

How many issues in 2020 would at worst be better off and at best be eradicated if we would all just learn to listen more than we speak? Let’s take count:

1) Racial Tension – Protests have escalated to the point of violence and destruction because some involved honestly felt like they weren’t being heard otherwise. We can debate the merits of such riots but instead I want to ask this honest question—when was the last time a peaceful protest was heard, changed your way of thinking, or even made it on the radar of your attention? Could it be that because of our busy, self-inundated lives peaceful voices are less likely to be heard? Could it be that our forefathers who weren’t being heard by the British knew that tea thrown off a boat into the water makes more of a splash than simply refusing to buy it? When voices of peace feel like they aren’t being heard—legitimate or not, right or wrong—less peaceful tactics tend to follow in this fallen world.

2) Coronavirus Pandemic – With each political side having a different view on what way is best to prevent continuation of the pandemic or for abolishing the contagion completely, neither side is willing to even hear the thinking of the others. For to do so would be to, in Ben’s words, “reveal some deficiency in our own character or our particular camp.”

3) Political Division – The description of #2 pretty much sums up this one as well.

(For sake of time I won’t even go into the ongoing issues of mental health, marital failure, etc. But who in their most honest moments doesn’t think these would also benefit from each person or party being listened to and heard more than spoken to?)

When will the trendy slogan of “better together” be more than a bumper sticker but actually something we believe and live out? The answer: only when we listen to one another as equal human beings with a capacity to bring possible solutions to problems and not seen as the problems themselves.

Reality tells us that never-ending peace among everyone is mostly an answer reserved for pageants but that’s why Matthew 5:9 calls us to be “peacemakers” not “peacekeepers.” Even as Christians we will not be able to avoid all confrontation, but we must be willing to do what it takes to “make” the peace when it’s within our ability to do so and with few exceptions. And sometimes—many times—that comes in the form of listening not speaking.

Now, pardon me, as I once again attempt to live this out in my own sphere of influence. Maybe this time I will succeed. But if I don’t, may I…may we…see it as something worth trying again until we do.

“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
Matthew 5:9

What is Something Our Society is Not Talking About but Should Be? - Ben's Answer

When Stephen and I discuss topics we want to write about I usually have a pretty good grasp on a direction I want to take. Sometimes it’s as clear as the noon day sun, other times it’s just a glimmer faintly seen on the horizon. Either way I end up with something I can be proud of and throw to the open maw of the socials.  So you can imagine my frustration when I had absolutely no idea how to answer the question. Nothing satisfied me as I mulled that question over in my mind—what is one thing we ought to be talking about? 
 
Now, do not misunderstand, this wasn’t for lack of trying, nor was it merely writer’s block. There are four different drafts on my desktop that, should I have wanted, would’ve been sufficient enough to please even Stephen’s insatiable curiosity. But all of them sunk my spirits and were an absolute dull to read.  In fact, I wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that they were the mental equivalent to an iron maiden (the torture device and not the heavy metal band…though, now that I think of it, either metaphor is appropriate).
 
Thankfully, in the midst of my frustration, I happened to watch the 2020 presidential debate. (Rest assured, I’m not about to get political.) I think everyone would agree that, at the very least, that debate was brutal to watch. For little over ninety minutes we saw two candidates running for the most powerful seat in the country argue about why they should get our votes. And while some name calling and a few wild accusations were bound to come up, we hoped that there would be at least some sensible dialogue about current important issues. Instead we witnessed two grown men talk over one another vying for the last word. Needless to say, it was embarrassing, but above all it was disheartening.
 
It was then, in the wake of that nationally broadcasted screaming match, that I realized what I wanted to write: We are a society who talks far too much and listens far too little. You’ll have to forgive me if it took an age to get to that conclusion but I felt some personal context would help illustrate the matter. 
 
We prize our personal opinions so highly that we often forget to listen when others are talking. We are bizarre mutants who speak with all the vibrato and eloquence of a Greek philosopher yet lack even one ear to listen. When another disagrees with us our initial instinct is to “bow up” and start talking louder and louder in order to assert our dominance.  When our opponent doesn’t back down, we find ourselves locked in a screaming match. For either side to call a ceasefire on their bombastic rhetoric would mean admitting defeat. So the volley goes on and on and on….
 
That debate would’ve been far easier to digest if those two men were more concerned with listening than winning.  And yes, I do understand that the general point of a debate is to win. However, we as a species would accomplish far greater things if we were far more concerned with hearing each other speak rather than beating each other down. Everyone hears themselves talking but do any of us feel like we’ve been heard?
 
The writer of Proverbs knew this all too well. He even said that in 18:2, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” It seems he must’ve been a part of many a debate in his lifetime to come to such a conclusion. He even provides a helpful solution to this problem: understanding. To understand is to hear a matter in its entirety. It means to listen and hear a thing till the very end. This means paying attention even if what we’re hearing isn’t pleasant.  It means focusing in on the one talking even if what they’re saying reveals some deficiency in our own character or our particular camp. 
 
It is for this very reason that the brother of Jesus tells us to listen twice before speaking first (cf. Ja. 1:19). In this way we wet our proverbial fuse and resist the urge to explode when someone disagrees with us. In fact, this tactic might even keep us from speaking at all. The listener is far more prone to remain silent than he is to express himself in the moment (cf. Pro. 10:19; 15:1; 17:28; 21:23; 29:11; Eph. 4:29; Ja. 3:6). 
 
When people are talking to you, do they feel like they are being heard? Or can they see behind your eyes a response already written? You’re poised, ready to strike. You’re merely waiting for them to stop speaking. So, my response to this week’s question, “what is one thing we ought to be talking about”, is maybe we should talk a little less in general. Just a thought.

 

What is Something Our Society is Not Talking About but Should Be? - Ben's Response to Stephen

Stephen’s post did a fantastic job of pointing out the problem of being overly skeptical. And he is right, we now live in a world of fake news. It’s hard to know who we can trust. And what is our response to such a discordant situation? We look to ourselves…a truly depressing thought.

My gut tells me this all began when we started questioning whether or not there was such a thing called “absolute truth.” But really, as Stephen so aptly pointed out, it began in the beginning.  When we took the “apple” to gain wisdom and we were given knowledge that was tainted with death. Curiosity first killed us before it ever killed the cat. Our skepticism led us to that tree as surely as that snake did. 
 
However, the main problem with that moment wasn’t that we were skeptical. We are beings who can think and weigh options before us.  Skepticism is part of our created minds. God has made us this way. And when it is used properly, doubt can save us from a lot of harm.  But the problem in the Garden of Eden was that we were skeptical of the wrong thing--questioning whether we should breach God’s law instead of questioning a talking snake! We questioned the character of God Himself. We thought He was keeping something from us that we thought was rightfully ours. Our suspicion should've never turned its eyes toward God. But sadly that skepticism bred discontentment in two perfect minds against their prefect Creator…another truly depressing thought.
 
Ironically, we still struggle against that kind of skepticism today. Left to its own, unbridled skepticism will bury us. This is why faith is so essential to our lives. It breeds hope and it sustains a belief in an invisible and intangible God. We simply believe because we believe in the Good News. Our bedrock of truth is God’s Word and whenever we open those pages our skepticism ought to be relegated by our faith. And I for one would rather trust in a God who has proven himself to be loving, than trust in a world that has proven itself to be cruel. 

What is Something Our Society is Not Talking About but Should Be? - Stephen's Answer

Below is an article I sent to the editor of my local newspaper back in March--

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, 

Have you ever asked yourself this question - Where does all of our skepticism end?

It doesn’t take long to scroll through your news feed to see one’s distrust of congressmen, presidents, governors, school board officials, doctors, health experts, law enforcement, the media, Hollywood, Nashville, local dog catcher, and the list goes on and on to the point that we only pause to breathe in the middle because we would die from exhaustion without it. 

I am not saying skepticism is always unfair or unmerited or not even profitable at times but where does it end? Where does this ultra-skepticism of seemingly everything leave us in five or ten years as a world, a country, a society, and an individual? 

The other question we must wrestle with along these lines is: what does or would it take for us not to be skeptical of these people? Does it take that politician, official, or journalist to agree with your already-made-up-mind on the subject or hold to your own personal values or preconceived notions for you to believe them? Could it be that we already believe certain sources are trying to get us to “drink the Kool-Aid” that we end up falling for the Kool-Aid anyways but just in a flavor we prefer? Does it take a personal relationship with your source of information or authority to remove the skepticism? 

My point in raising these questions is very simple: no one can live in complete skepticism about everything and without trust in someone to inform you on a subject. Your political views come from someone giving you the “facts” of what’s happening in Washington because you’re not there. Your view of Hollywood or Nashville comes from someone else who is relaying to you what someone said in a private meeting or in a so-called “hot mic” which you were not present for nor privy to. And, against popular modern thinking of some on our news feeds, it is impossible to think we can become an expert in every field with a single Google search or Wikipedia browsing where it has taken others 4 to 8 years of classroom study just to apply for an entrance-level job in that field.  

In a world that is quickly believing in the absence of absolute truth, where do we go for a standard we can all fall back on? For some it’s the constitution of the United States created by fallible, sin-natured men (like us all) but with seemingly good intentions. For others it is a TV channel that we might deem more patriotic or more American than its competitors. 

We ALL have a source we look to for truth: what is your source? You have one—the hardest part is admitting you do and, if it’s your own self, choosing to be skeptical of that source first and most of all. 

Sincerely,

A Skeptic of the Skeptic Tank 

P.S. I am not an expert on this subject. Your thoughts are welcomed. 

_________________________________________________________

Skepticism comes when we designate a source (media, individual, organization, etc.) as trustworthy only to eventually be let down with the revealing of a secret text message, hidden agenda, or a pattern of corruption. How many times have we seen this? Let’s ask the Newsies in Disney’s Broadway hit—

Snipeshooter: “How 'bout a crooked politician?”

Newsies: “Hey, stupid, That ain't news no more!”

“THAT AIN’T NEWS NO MORE!” 

The shocking news is no longer the recurrence of such headlines but our typical response to them—to seek out the next media source, individual, or organization to place our “coin” of trust into only to inevitably be let down again in this seemingly never-ending game that nobody wants to continue playing. 

So we stop playing, take our marbles, and go home with our new-found strategy of claiming truth is relative to each individual and never absolute. That is true for you and this is true for me which then makes our own selves the new trust-worthy source. Finally a source that we can trust…right???

WRONG! You see we are quickly finding out that skepticism of all sources (besides ourselves of course) is dangerous because it leads us down a path of “ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7). We are confused, frustrated, and searching frantically for unadulterated, unfiltered TRUTH knowing deep-down we aren’t an expert in everything and never will be!

But we continue playing like we are an expert and in doing so we’re the ones who end up losing in the end. Just ask Adam and Eve who no doubt many times replayed in their minds the Serpent’s question—"Yea, hath God said?” Satan’s tactic that day in Eden was to make them skeptical of the One who is absolute more than themselves. More skeptical of the truth from God than their own opinions of that truth.

As Christians, we must believe the Word of God to be the only standard of absolute truth. Therefore, because it tells us that we are but flawed and sinful flesh (Romans 3:23), our opinions may not be and should not be above skepticism. 

Be honest about this in your posts, your responses to others, and ultimately your level of humility so that we may answer the questions so many people currently have with a standard we know will always be absolutely true (and, once again, that is not you or I or any other humanly-tainted source we prefer on a given day).

As we live in a society filled with skepticism, may people see in us who claim a belief in God, a greater trust in the truth of His Word than our own. For if there is only one source of absolute truth, will the world perceive we believe it to be us or God? 

If us, we give them a standard which, like Adam and Eve, is doomed to fail. If God, His shoulders can bear the responsibility just fine. But remember, it can’t be both. The choice is ours and our answer to that question could very well be displayed in the typing of that very next post.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

 Jeremiah 17:9

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6