It’s no secret that this world is a mess. In thinking about what to write for this
post, I found myself trying to decide which mess I was going to try to
tackle. I can’t get on social media
without being confronted with something new and egregious, so I had a plethora
of options from which to choose. I felt
this weird sense of responsibility—I need to share with the readers of this
blog post how to solve the problem of gun control versus security in our
schools or the biblical response to abortion or why elephants shouldn’t have
the same rights as humans or what in the world is wrong with Amber Heard and
Johnny Depp, etc.
I found myself thinking back to a conversation from a couple
of weeks ago. One of our boys had heard
something about the Depp v Heard trial and asked me and my husband about
it. My husband told them the gist of it but
ended with the good news that they would never have to worry about being in a
situation like that. One of them said,
“Oh, because we’ll never be rich?” Well,
that too, probably, but there are non-celebrities with chaotic messes of lives
too. Enough to create shows like Jerry
Springer, so there must be more to it than just being not-rich. Ron reminded them that God laid out
boundaries and rules for our lives that if followed, would lead to happiness,
peace, and fulfillment. Side note: This is one of the things that I love about
my husband. He takes advantage of
teachable moments and uses them for God’s glory.
T. DeWitt Talmage wrote a sermon entitled “Conjugal Harmony.” In it, he said, “A church within a church, a
republic within a republic, a world within a world, is spelled by four letters:
h-o-m-e. If things go right there, they go right everywhere; if things go wrong
there, they go wrong everywhere.” I
can’t solve the world’s problems in one blog post or even one million blog
posts, but I can do what God has called me to do in my little world called
home.
This looks different for everyone. For me, it looks different in the summer
months than it does during the school year; but the principles stay the
same. In the same sermon, Talmage says,
“…to those who would have a happy home…let love preside in it.” When I was telling Ron about my writer’s
block, he encouraged me to write about the balance between being a teacher and
a wife and mother, and my first thought was, “What the heck does that look
like? How can I write about that if I
don’t know?” There are so many times
that I feel like I’m failing in one or more areas of my life, but I think
Talmage got to the root of it. It’s
love. Sometimes love looks like a home-cooked meal and sometimes it looks like
Domino’s pizza delivery even though you prefer Papa John’s. Sometimes love looks like empty laundry
baskets and sometimes it looks like overflowing hampers behind closed doors
while you play a board game with your family.
Always love looks like investment.
Invest in your family by spending time in prayer for
them. One book that has been especially
transformative in my life is The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie
Omartian. She says that “prayer is the
ultimate love language.” Spend time
praying for your family. This is
something I’m very passionate about, and if I ever get asked to write for this
blog again, maybe that’s what I’ll write about.
For now, wives, you should really read that book!
Invest in your family financially. I’ve always thought the following statement from
the short story “Rip Van Winkle” was one of the saddest lines in literature: “[Rip’s] children too were as ragged and wild
as if they belonged to nobody…. [His
son, Rip,] was generally seen…equipped in a pair of his father’s cast of
galligaskins, which he had must ado to hold up with one hand….” Earlier in the story, Washington Irving
describes Rip through the eyes of the children of the village: they would “shout with joy whenever he
approached. He assisted at their sports,
made their play things, taught them to fly kites and shoot marbles, and told them
long stories….” Rip Van Winkle had all the time in the world
for the children in the village, while his own children ran around wild in
hand-me-downs that didn’t fit. Take care
of your family. Food and clothing are
the obvious and necessary expenses, but education, sports, music lessons,
etc.—these are all investments. Carol
Roberts, my principal and friend, says she refuses to call Christian education
a sacrifice. “We don’t call our mortgage
payment or our car payment a sacrifice.
They’re investments.” Our
children should be our number one priority when it comes to financial
investments.
Invest in your family by spending time with them. I want to share one more quote from
Talmage:
I advise, also that you make your chief
pleasure circle around about that home. It is unfortunate when it is otherwise.
If the husband spend most of his nights away from home, of choice, and not of
necessity, he is not the head of the household; he is only the cashier. If the
wife throw the cares of the household in the servant’s lap, and then spend five
nights of the week at the opera or theatre, she may clothe her children with
satins and laces and ribbons that would confound a French milliner, but they
are orphans. Oh, it is sad when a child has to say its prayers alone because
mother has gone off to the evening entertainment! In India they bring children
and throw them to the crocodiles, and it seems very cruel; but the jaws of
modern American dissipation are swallowing down more little children today than
all the monsters that ever crawled upon the banks of the Ganges!
The amount of time will not be the same for every family,
but I like the way Talmage puts it: “make
your chief pleasure circle around about that home.” Do you
love to spend time with your family?
Whatever that looks like for you in your season of life, invest in your family. Make sure you are working to change the only world you really have any semblance of control over: yours. The world is a mess. Your home doesn’t have to be.
