The Daily Babel: Tumbleweed Keeps Moving to Put Down Its Roots

May 27, 2022 – Stephen Sapp

 

MOJAVE DESERT, CALIFORNIA – Once upon a time, there lived a tumbleweed. 

 

I know this doesn’t sound quite like a reporter’s tale but hopefully the purpose will become obvious as we roll along. 

 

Speaking of rolling along, that was exactly what this tumbleweed did. 

Every day. 

It would roll through the desert from which it came.  

 

And, on this specific day, it ran right into a cactus. 

“Ouch. That hurt,” it cried. 

The cactus, having been awoken from its daily nap, asked the weed, “Hold on there. Where are you headed in such a hurry?” 

The tumbleweed replied, “I’m leaving to put down my roots.” 

 

“But you’re leaving everything you’ve always known here—your family, your friends, your home. Why would you leave?” the old cactus questioned with his words and seemingly with his upheld branches too. 

 

But the tumbleweed was not to be deterred and hopped on the very next wind to blow-by.

The tumbleweed found itself whooshed all the way to the Redwood Forest. 

“This seems nice,” he said looking around. “The view is better. The grass is greener. I think I will put my roots down here.” 

 

But over time, despite his excitement at first, the tumbleweed became sad and discontent. The redwood trees were much taller than the cactus back home and not a single fellow tumbleweed was ever in sight. It would seem bigger was not always better. So, instead of putting down his roots, he moved on still looking for the perfect place. 

 

Coming upon a nice northerly breeze, the tumbleweed was carried all the way up to the high desert. 

“This is more like it,” the tumbleweed sighed. For, as he looked around, tumbleweeds were everywhere. “I can definitely put some roots down here,” he thought.

 

But, as time went on, he came to realize these tumbleweeds were different. They weren’t at all like the ones he had known growing up. They didn’t talk like the southern tumbleweed. And they looked different too. 

 

“How in the world am I going to be able to put down roots when all of this is so different from where I’m from?” 

 

So, the weed tumbled on. 

This time, he caught the first southernly wind looking for a place closer to what he had always known. 

 

“This already looks more familiar,” the tumbleweed said as he stopped along his journey. “That cactus resembles the one I ran into the first day I left. This desert has the same colored sand as the one I remember as a young, little sprout too. And look, there’s a prairie dog colony like my mother used to tell us about.” 

 

The tumbleweed continued as he said with relief, “Here’s a place I can finally lay down my roots.” 

 

There was only one problem. 

Prairie dogs eat tumbleweed. 

 

THE END.

 

This story is based loosely upon the widely acclaimed, non-existent 2021 article, “Shocking Study Shows Nomads Have a Hard Time Finding a Home.”