5th Monday: "Ministry: A Day in the Life" - Emory Hyrne

Now, I know what you are thinking. Emory, don't you mean “a year in the life?” No, that is a fantastic Netflix special about the Gilmore Girls. And since you know this, I now know that we can become good friends. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just fall in love with coffee, and you're halfway there.

In a conversation with Ben about Middlings topics, I somehow agreed to write a thing. I’m not sure how it happened. The talk we had is actually a bit of a blur. Come to think of it, I’m almost positive that Ben made it up. In my right mind, I know I'd never agree to do this. I take on more of the editing role in Ben's writing, which comes more naturally to me. 

If you don’t know me (which is very likely), I am an expert coffee drinker, avid reader, mother of two littles, and the wife of one, Ben Hyrne. We serve at a small church in Baltimore as ministry coordinator (me) and lead pastor (Ben).

I thought I'd take a snapshot of what life is like in Christian service as a vocation. Maybe this will simply encourage you or, if I may be so bold, give you a new understanding of those in church leadership. What follows is nothing more than a few broad observations of church work. First, I’d like to mention a couple of challenges in my line of work, and then I’d like to move on to tell you how I am learning to meet those challenges.

I'm not sure what the assumptions are for church leaders, but I try to dispel those whenever I can. Doing what we do is challenging in some unique ways. We get to see people at their best moments and at their worst. For instance, think of the drama in your own life that you might share with a ministry staffer and then multiply that by the number of people in your church. And then add a few more, just because we get walk-ins sometimes. Not only is this a math lesson, but it also illustrates what we encounter every week. People in ministry share in the joys of births, baptisms, or a friend accepting Christ. But then we also cry with someone who’s just received an unfavorable prognosis. Or, like some spiritual first-responder, we’re called to the scene of a life in shambles, and then we try to help them sort through the rubble. Any part of this can happen in any order at any time.

Life comes with ups and downs in general, but, to a certain extent, we experience these epic ups and downs with every church member many times over. That’s hard to do! Personally, I'm very empathetic. I feel for every person I encounter, which, at times, can be a double-edged sword. I don't share this to make you rethink that thing you wanted to talk with your leader about, only to give you insight. We happily (and sometimes unhappily) do life with people. This is 100% a calling, and I wouldn’t choose anything else for myself. 

What's also challenging is worshiping at church! Yes, you heard me correctly. I work where I worship. Just this morning, I unclogged a toilet, helped reconnect a PowerPoint presentation, and then made announcements…all during morning worship. Then, I noticed that a light went out in that classroom again(insert facepalm here). Sometimes working in ministry, I have to remind myself that I need to pause and worship. Occasionally turning off to worship at church feels like eating dinner in your unfinished attic. Or like bringing your office home with you and shoving it in your bedroom, as many of us experienced during Covid.

The only way we can do what we do is by a complete reliance on Christ, healthy boundaries, and solid self-care practices. To help me explain these principles, let's use a made-up parishioner. Let's call her something awesome like "Sally."

One of the first things I realized about ministry is that I'm not the answer to anything Sally needs. This is quite a freeing revelation and also keeps my pride in check. (If you weren't sure who is, the answer is Jesus.) My goal in ministry isn't to make people rely upon me to "fix" what's broken. That is an impossible weight that no one, except Jesus, can carry. My goal is to speak truth and help people become more acquainted with him. I can be an encourager, or I can be a listener, but knowing I’m not the solution means I'm placing the focus where it needs to be (cf. 1 Pet. 5:7). And just as I should know that I cannot fix Sally, Sally shouldn’t expect me to be her “fixer.” What she needs is Jesus. We must rely on Christ to work the miracles. He’s the one who relieves burdens (cf. Mat. 11:28). I just need to help Sally work that out in her own life. 

Next, let’s discuss boundaries. Going back to our amazing Sally, this might mean I don’t respond to every text immediately. I make it a point to "turn off," unplug, or power down from work. You get the idea, right? Cause I can just keep going…unwind, let loose, jazzercise… ok, now I’m done. I make family time. Ministry will still be there tomorrow. The needs will still be as great tomorrow as they are right now. And since, as we discussed above, I know that everything’s not hinging on me, I can “be” home when I’m at home. Being mindful and creating boundaries are so important.

Now, let’s talk about self-care. When I say "self-care," I'm talking about being mindful of yourself—physically, emotionally, spiritually—and processing those things in healthy ways. After all, as ministry workers, if we can't take care of ourselves, how can we help care for others? Self-care in life is essential, especially so for someone who serves people. You don’t crush life by shoving your feelings down and ignoring your body’s tells. God gave us emotions, and it's unwise to shove them down and ignore them. An excellent book I read says that every emotion can be an act of worship when we acknowledge them and take them to God.  God also gave us bodies that will physically give out if we don't care for them. Good luck serving God without a body (a little bit of dark humor there). Helping the “Sallys” in the world (and hopefully doing it well) means that you also care for yourself. 

There’s a misconception out there that you can never think of yourself to truly serve God. This is both untrue and unhealthy. Jesus is the living water that never runs dry. I don't know about you, but my proverbial well runs dry on the regular. I'm not infinite in emotional currency like God is. And what an excellent thought that is!! God is always ready, able, and willing to hear us! 

Even with the challenges, being in a serving role is a rewarding role. Taking part in the journeys of so many others means I also get to celebrate those breakthroughs and victories with them as well. In my humble opinion, there's nothing better than seeing God do a great thing and seeing him use my gifts to make a lasting impact. I love what I get to do.

“But Emory,” you might say, “what do I do with all of this?” Well, Sally, maybe you need to implement healthy boundaries as much Ben and I do; leave work at work, and be home when you’re home. If the concept of self-care seems bizarre, let’s talk about that! Or maybe you should give that church leader who didn't notice you sitting there last Sunday the benefit of the doubt. Maybe think about the expectations you have of your leaders and consider their reasonableness. 

This article was certainly not comprehensive, but I hope it gave you insight into vocational Christian service as I’ve experienced it thus far. I love you, friend, and I wish you a wonderful week. Let's discuss life sometime, over coffee, of course.