“And they lived happily ever after.”
“Oh, Mr. Darcy ... Yes, I Said Yes!”
“And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved:”
One of those doesn’t seem to fit in our catalogue of heart-warming and, for us guys, slightly nauseating love story endings. But in looking at that misfit (hint: it’s the last one and probably my favorite) what can we infer about the circumstances surrounding this guy’s situation?
His emotional response allows us to assume this guy’s circumstances were bad, awful, and almost certainly devoid of love. On the same hand, we might also believe that the person who shared “that saying” was mean, derogatory, arrogant, or just plain bad himself. Because even if it was a revealing of bad news, we have found ways in our modern culture to “soften the blow” of such information— “This hurts me more than it hurts you,” “She wasn’t a good dog anyways,” or, in all seriousness, “They are now resting in peace.” Whoever shared this “saying” must not have cared for this person to whom he was speaking, right?
“Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved:”
Mark 10:21-22a
“Loved him?” That’s not what our 21st century hearts and minds were programmed to expect was it? “It’s just like the Bible,” some might say, “to have misprints, errors, or stories and encounters too unbelievable to be true. Didn’t Jesus, who claims to be an all-knowing God, realize this man ‘had great possessions’ (vs. 22b)? Surely Jesus wouldn’t ask someone who is wealthy to sell all of their stuff for the sake of eternity…especially if it was someone He claimed to love.”
And yet as that last statement leaves our lips while still ringing in our ears we know it’s possible, don’t we? We know it is possible and maybe even probable that love and harsh honesty of consequences can go hand-in-hand. As an adult we now understand that it was love that caused our parents to ground us from the house phone with the 39-and-a-half-foot cord (aka our connection to life) because we were home past curfew. We understand it was love or at the very least concern that caused our teachers to put an “F” on our report card because we had failed to do the work and effort required. And we are beginning to understand that it is our love that compels us to punish our children when they are young so they won’t keep running towards the road or stealing the candy bar from the ever-long line at Walmart.
It is so easy for us to believe that love is simply the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, kisses on the cheek, and rainbows in the sky. But that day Jesus was redefining love as something more for us all including this young man who needed to know the truth about his eternal soul before it was too late. Jesus could have lied to the young man and told him he was good just the way he was—but since when is lying a sign of love? Jesus could have told him that he could worry about eternal life and things of that nature when he was older—but since when is promising a tomorrow when tomorrow may not come a sign of love?
Before we think that Jesus merely changed the definition of love for us in the New Testament because it wasn’t working out so well in the Old Testament consider this verse—
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
Proverbs 27:6
This verse shows clearly that it is not God’s definition of love that has changed and fallen short over the years but ours. God always knew that truth and love not only made good partners but were inseparable components even in friendship. For a friend who loves enough to wound is a friend you can trust to help mend as well. He knew that without the two together true love would not be complete in any relationship. And if God truly is love (i.e. 1 John 4:8) who are we to argue?
As Ron concluded last week God says love involves truth even when it hurts, and I submit He not only has the right as our Creator but even illustrated what that looked like in Jesus. We may never find Jesus’ honest words to this young man on that Hallmark card playing “My Heart Will Go On” when opened but it makes no less a beautiful picture of what love sometimes requires. And if God also says true love beckons a willingness to sacrifice on behalf of someone else as Ben proposed in his post, He has the right to proclaim that as well. And I for one am eternally grateful that, because of His proper definition of love, He acted upon that one too—
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.”
John 3:16a
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