Redefining Love - Ben

However well-intentioned a person may be, love devoid of a biblical basis to guide its definition becomes, at best, nothing more than a shadow of itself and, at worst, a twisted perversion. This is why trying to find an objective description of love apart from God’s Word is a practice in futility. 

Some would say love is in the eye of the beholder, and, no matter how it is expressed, it is good. But this isn’t the case. As with most things, God has clearly defined what love is, where it should be directed, and how it should be displayed. Any affection which is not governed by His Word becomes an end in and of itself, or, what the Bible calls, an “idol.” And any substitute for God is ultimately empty, devoid of satisfaction and lacking in any substance. God is love, after all, and any “love” without Him is one in name only (cf. I Jn. 4:16). 

So how does God define love? Well, type the word ‘love’ into a concordance, and you’ll be treated to over 300+ instances where love is mentioned in Scripture. Rest assured, we won’t be looking at all of them. However, I feel a good starting point is to look at the founding of a nation and then move to the founding of the church. With any luck, these two passages will help us define what love really is.

AN UNDILUTED DEVOTION

Deuteronomy 6:4-5

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”

This passage is commonly referred to as the Shema; named as such because shema is the Hebrew word for ‘hear,’ the first word in our passage above. The Shema stands as THE foundational principle to which all of the OT laws are built. 

It is easy to see why God would make this passage so central to their relationship. He wanted Israel to have an undiluted devotion to Him and Him alone. Jehovah did not like for them to share their affections. He did not want them to run to other gods and serve them. He wanted them to be faithful to Him. So singularly focused was their love to be that they had no choice but to devote their heart, soul, and might to Him. No part of the Israelite would be permitted to wander. They would love God and God alone would they love.  

So, love is, first and foremost, an affection we have for God. This is not to say we cannot love our friends and family. But in the hierarchy of our desires, God stands at the top with all others below. Anytime a person or thing dethrones the Lord, we make ourselves into a people of passions controlled by feelings rather than a passionate people guided by God. 

AN UNEQUIVOCAL ACTION

John 15:12-13

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15 is my favorite passage in all of Scripture. In it, Jesus lays out many foundational principles that help define what his followers should look like. Admittedly, there’s a ton to unpack in that passage, but probably the apex of the whole chapter comes when Jesus explains what the purest expression of love is: sacrifice.

Jesus says that there is simply no better way of showing love than to willingly give up your life for another. If love were a mountain, dying for another would be like summiting Everest. And, as we know, Jesus himself summited Calvary’s mount to die for all humanity, for those who loved Him as well as for those who hated Him. If the truest expression of love is laying down your life for a companion, what kind of love propelled Jesus to die for friend and foe alike?  

But Jesus’ point in explaining that sacrifice is the pinnacle of love shows us that love isn’t a feeling but an action. True love is best defined by what we do rather than what we feel. No matter what we think about someone, the easiest way to find out if we truly love that person is to see if their presence affects our conduct. Do we look for creative ways to show our partiality for this person? Do we set aside a substantial portion of our income to support our loved one’s addiction to Starbucks? The burden of proof for love is deeds before feelings and actions before words. Before anyone feels like we love them, before anyone believes us when we tell them we love them, they must first see that we love them.   

If I could redefine love, I’d say that it is an undiluted devotion to God and an unequivocal action for the wellbeing of others. God must be first before any other, and our so-called “love” must be well-defined by selfless acts for another. On these two hinges swing all other expressions of love. They alone bring meaning and purpose to what can sometimes be an overused and undervalued word. 

We are never more like Christ than when we put Him before all others and when we put the needs of others before ourselves. Any love that is removed from this foundation falls short and risks becoming a mere platitude. But a love which stands upon this foundation knows no limits and gives all who see it a glimpse into the Divine.