- Sorrow - a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.
- Lament - a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.
(Definitions from Oxford Languages)
Let’s get right to the point—a lot of us Christians aren’t very good at sorrowing and lamenting. Having grown up in church singing “I’ve got joy like a fountain” only to find that same joy in another song “deep, deep down in my heart,” we’ve left very little room for those negative emotions (which, ironically enough, are also God-given).
The good news is that, as Christians get older, our emotions and those we deem acceptable grow as well, right? Unfortunately, not. Here’s a song written for Christians that might not be very well-known but exists just the same (and not in children’s church):
God's people are happy people
Happy all of the time
Joy higher than the tallest steeple
love of the unstoppable kind
More than 10 million reasons
flooding through my soul and my mind
God's people are happy people
Happy people shine.
This song reminds me of a rebuttal many people outside of the faith throw at us Christians. It’s called escapism. This word is defined as the ignoring of reality to keep a desired state of mind—in this case, joy and happiness.
Our Christian films, generally speaking, are Exhibit A to this accusation. Problems exist in these movies for sure but before the 2-hour movie concludes every single one of them is resolved. Sometimes they work out so well that they even receive a new truck tied off with a giant bow upon the hood (i.e., Facing the Giants). It’s as if within every actor’s contract in one of these films some version of Christmas Day is promised always to arrive.
The problem with this Christian form of escapism is that it doesn’t fit reality. As we have been reminded through this pandemic--Christians have problems that we don’t always see resolved this side of eternity. Christians get sick, Christians go on ventilators, and Christians die. That’s the unfortunate reality we see Monday through Saturday only for some to walk into their churches on Sunday and be told to be happy and joyful while striking the latest fountain pose. (Pardon my children’s church flashback.)
If you have ever experienced this dichotomy and find yourself disillusioned by this “Disney-like magical happiness” hear me out. The Bible does not condone or promote this kind of mentality. It actually reminds us that sorrow and lament are a part of real life for all who live in this fallen world.
There will come a day when believers live in a place of no more pain, no more death, and no more tears but it doesn’t take long to realize that we aren’t there yet.
There will come a day when “all things work together for good to them that love God” but Romans 8:28 doesn’t promise that will happen today, tomorrow, or any time pre-eternity.
There will come a day when sorrow is not a part of our lives, but 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 doesn’t say we shouldn’t sorrow but that our sorrow should be less than those who have no hope in the life to come:
“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”
Christians need room to sorrow like David when his son Absalom was trying to take his life and kingship (Psalm 3). We need room for lamenting like Hannah who was being emotionally tormented day and night because she couldn’t conceive and have a child (1 Samuel 1). And it is good to be reminded that not once did God rebuke these people of faith as they poured out their sorrow and lament before Him.
The darkness of our sorrow can never remove the presence of the Son within us but there are times our hope may seem more like the waning dusk than the rising dawn. It might truly be well with your soul, yet it could take some time for the rest of you to get to that same place.
“Jesus wept” (John 11:35) is the shortest verse in the Bible but for many Christians our theology doesn’t seem quite big enough to handle it.
Jesus cried that day because He loved Lazarus who had just died.
Jesus cried because He loved Martha whose brother just passed away.
Jesus cried because He loved Mary who believed that if Jesus had been there, her brother would still be alive.
Jesus cried because He felt the sorrow and lament that comes with living on this very earth that we all find ourselves on today.
As we celebrate the death, burial, and resurrection of our Savior may we not forget the importance of His life. Those 33 years were not only to bring Him to a cross or reveal to us the Father but that He might also feel first-hand that sorrow and lament we all experience. And when we take those cares to Him like David and Hannah we can know--
He's felt that pain.
He's borne that grief.
He's experienced those tears.
From His life to His death, there’s more than one reason why the Bible refers to Jesus as the “Man of Sorrows.” And I am just thankful no one ever told Jesus “God’s people are happy people, happy all the time.”
“Man of Sorrows,” what a name
For the Son of God who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim!
Hallelujah! what a Savior!
(Philip P. Bliss, 1875)
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