You shall not commit adultery.
Exodus 20:14 (ESV)
After speaking about the sanctity of life in the sixth commandment, the Lord talks about the sacredness of marriage in the seventh: "You shall not commit adultery." And it is appropriate that this next word in the Decalogue comes in between the one regarding murder and before the one regarding theft. After all, adultery destroys a marital relationship like murder kills a life and steals away a person's intimacy with their partner, just like a thief steals a purse. And, in extreme cases, the three go hand-in-hand (cf. 2 Sam. 11:2-4).
Admittedly, very few people need to be told that adultery is wrong (cf. Gen. 20:9). So the seventh commandment isn't so much an effort to stem the tide of sexual infidelity but a commentary on the importance of sexual fidelity. In other words, God is highlighting how much value he puts on sex and marriage.
Marriage isn't a communal affair but one of exclusivity. The seventh commandment elevates marital unions far above our base desires so that even though we may be tempted to go astray (cf. 1 Cor. 10:13), we refuse to do so because the vow we made to our spouse in the sight of God is far more important than the feelings we might have towards some would-be adulterous partner.
Scripturally, there are two types of adulterous acts. The first is adultery that takes place in the bed, and the second is adultery that takes place in the heart. The former is a sin involving the body, and the latter consists of the mind. Doubtless, both body and mind are active agents in adultery of any kind. However, as you'll see, the Bible clearly distinguishes and correlates the two. So it is helpful in our discussion to think of them as two separate but, also, interconnected things.
In regards to adultery that takes place in the bed, that act is the disfigurement of something unique, as if one were to deface the Mona Lisa. In marriage, a person leaves behind their old life to form a new life with their new husband or wife. Just as the priority of the parents' is replaced by their child's new spouse (cf. Gen. 2:24), no one is allowed to hold a place of honor and affection other than a person's spouse. Marriage is something special and not to be interfered with by any kind of adulterous act. As the parents respect their child's new marital status, everyone else does as well. This is why the ring, while having no scriptural basis, is a fantastic and elegant tool to let everyone know that someone is taken and, therefore, unavailable. Thus, when a married person sleeps around, they are treating marriage as a trivial thing when it is the exact opposite of trivial. It is precious, invaluable, and sacred.
Furthermore, marriage is not only a union made between two people but a union made between two people in the sight of God. Adultery breaks down the relationship between husband and wife and destroys an adulterer's relationship with God. This sin of adultery is not only a sin against one's spouse; it is a sin against one's God (cf. Gen. 39:9; Psa. 51:4; Mal. 2:13-16; 3:5).
So egregious was adultery to God that he would liken it to idol worship (cf. Jer. 3:8-9; Ezek. 23:37; Hos. 4:13-14; Isa. 57:3). Meaning that marriage itself is a metaphor for our relationship with God (cf. Jer. 31:32; Eph. 5:22-33). In the same way that we would go after false gods seeking fulfillment, an adulterer will go after a false lover seeking satisfaction from them. In both cases, these actions are unequivocally wrong, and, in both cases, these actions are unequivocally unfulfilling.
But the seventh commandment prohibits more than just physical acts; it also forbids acts of the mind. Even to look at another person with illicit motives is considered adultery in God's eyes.
Matthew 5:27-30 (ESV)
27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
Notice that Jesus puts the emphasis not on the object of a person's lust but on the person who is lusting.[1] If someone lusts after another person, that sin is not laid at the feet of the person they were lusting after but at the feet of the person who did not look away.[2] This is not to say that we shouldn't be mindful of our dress. Modesty is one of the primary marks of holiness (cf. 1 Pet. 3:1-6). If our attire causes another to stumble, we ought to modify that dress to better reflect a concern for those around us and our devotion to God (cf. Mat. 18:7-9: Mar. 9:42-48). Though, to be sure, this can be taken to an extreme. In the Middle East, for instance, women cannot be seen in public without wearing a burka in which they're covered from head to toe. This takes modesty too far. However, the point Jesus makes is that even if a person were to be dressed immodestly and someone were to lusts after them, those who look and keep on looking are at fault. The loose morals of another are not a reason for us to loosen our own morals. A bad situation does not excuse us from making good decisions.
To be clear, when Jesus says, "looks...with lustful intent," he isn't talking about mere attraction.[3]. Acknowledging that a person is beautiful or handsome is not a sin. The Greek word used is ἐπιθυμέω (ep-ee-thoo-meh'-oh), and it refers to when a "looking" turns into a "gazing," recognition turns into affection and observation into appetite.[4] Literally, it means "to look deliberately at a woman lustfully, i.e., desiring or imagining a sexual relationship with her…." [5] Thus, the Lord is speaking very specifically about a kind of "looking" that is lewd and lecherous. It is not the sort of looking where someone notices that a person is good-looking; it is the sort of looking where they are looking to satisfy some base desire.[6] Every adult knows the difference between noticing someone and undressing them with their eyes. This is the kind of gazing that Jesus is referring to. It is a looking not with the eyes but in the heart.
To say that even a lustful look is adultery may seem extreme. But just as he did with anger (cf. Mar. 5:21-23), the Lord highlights the actual cause of all affairs: lust. Lust is an act in the heart in the same way that adultery is an act in the bed. To open the door to the former is to expose yourself to the possibility of the latter. Anyone who keeps themselves from a lustful gaze will be impervious to adultery (cf. Job 31:1; Pro. 6:25). It simply will not happen if the gates of our heart are closed to such visitors. But should we open those gates and invite lust in, it will not take long before we find ourselves doing what the heart has already imagined.
Obviously, this has application to all sexual sins—i.e., premarital sex, fornication, homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, etc. Participating or engaging in any of these acts is morally wrong under every conceivable scenario. However, in the world of social media, this also has application for those who scroll Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Ticktock, and whatever else comes next. Too often, the selfie is not a means to capture a moment but to flaunt one's sexuality. We post pictures of ourselves not to immortalize a memory but to be seen. We want the clicks, likes, and hearts, and sadly, we'll show increasingly more skin because we know that's what gets the attention we think they want.
But imagine, for a moment, that every view or heart occurred in real life and in real-time. Like, if you were to go out tanning on the beach and someone came along and just gave you a thumbs up and then didn't go away. Rather than walk away, they sorta stopped and stared at you for a long while. It would, rightfully, creep you out. And suppose that it wasn't just one person but 10 or 20 or 50 or however many likes you would've gotten for a picture like that with each person just standing there on the beach, ogling you with their thumbs up. If it makes our skin crawl to think of this happening to us in real life, why do we readily post such things on our feeds?
Before we get too bogged down in my hypothetical, let me be clear: not all likes, hearts, or whatever represent people who are lusting. That's not the point I'm making. The point is that in our digital spaces, we've made ourselves readily available for anyone to take our image and do with it as they see fit. "The heart," as the prophet Jeremiah put it, "is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" You don't need to go to age-restricted websites to view illicit content anymore. It's as easy as scrolling social media. Digital spaces too often become digital playgrounds for our lustful hearts.
This is why Jesus' solution may have sounded extreme when you first read it, but it makes perfect sense in the context of sexual sins. Jesus said, "if your right eye offends you, pluck it out," and, "if your right hand offends you, cut it off." Why? He reasons that it would be better to go to heaven maimed than go to hell whole. If a part of you is prone to wander, it is perfectly reasonable to sever it entirely from your life rather than allow it to remain and cause you to stumble.
So, was Jesus talking literally here? No. This is a classic case of hyperbole. He is not advising you to cut off your hand just because it reaches for the wrong thing, nor does he want you to pluck out your eye just because it looks too long. Even if you did, you would still have a lust problem because issues of sin are matters of the heart (cf. Gen. 6:5; 8:21; Jer. 17:9; Mat. 15:19).[7] One would need to rip out their heart entirely and be given a new one to indeed be immune from sin's prompting (cf. Ezk. 36:26; Rom. 6:11).
However, while the Lord is not advising self-mutilation (cf. Deut. 14:1), he is urging us to take extreme measures when it comes to sexual temptations (cf. 1 Cor. 6:18; 2 Tim. 2:22; Col. 3:5).[8] It would be far better for you to go without some T.V. show, movie, or social media platform than it would for you to keep those things in your life and expose yourself to temptation. Jesus may not want you to plunk out your eye or cut off your hand, but he may be telling you to delete an app.[9] Better to experience a little boredom than to get wrapped up in some temptation.
At this point, you might think, like many before you, that the Bible is restrictive and prudish. But this assumption is wrong. Anyone wanting to see how the Scriptures view this act needs only read the book of Song of Solomon to learn how God celebrates it and encourages sex! The catch, however, is that sex is not open. It is sacred; that is to say, it is set apart, unique, and special and only enjoyed within the clearly defined parameters of marriage.
Any illicit activity outside of marriage is not only wrong, but it diminishes the act of sex itself. God designed it to be more than just a physical action; it has an emotional and spiritual element. Thus, the intimacy achieved through intercourse is a gift from God meant to reinforce vows and strengthen a marriage. It is a profound "oneness" unlike any other experience. But for us to divorce the sacredness from sex and to invite others into that special space is to reduce this unique gift to mere appetite and thereby make ourselves no better than animals.
Now, I know that when we discuss a topic like this, generally speaking, people will fall into two camps: those who are in profound denial and those who are deeply convicted. To the first group, hear me when I say that all sins have a way of manifesting themselves in due course. What you sow will bring a harvest (cf. Gal. 6:7). You may think you can handle fire, but eventually, you will get burned (cf. Prov. 6:27-33).
To the second group, to the individual whose been convicted that their past or present actions are sinful, there is hope for the adulterer. There’s hope for a man like me. In fact, if there weren't, no one would be safe from judgment because, aside from Jesus, there has never been a person who hasn't fallen due to lustful thoughts (cf. Mat. 12:39; 16:4). Dear brother or sister, read the words of John and be encouraged.
John 9:2-11 (ESV)
2 Early in the morning he [Jesus] came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4 they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11 She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."
In God's eyes, we are all guilty of adultery. However, for those who repent, there is forgiveness and reconciliation (cf. 1 Jn. 1:8-9). No one is so far gone that they are beyond help. With the Messiah, there is always hope. Jesus loves the adulterer.
[1] Keener, Craig S., A Commentary on the Gospel of Matthew, (Grand Rapids, MI; Eerdmans Publishing, 1999), p. 187.
[2] Turner, David L., Matthew, The Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament, (Grand Rapids, MI; Baker Academic, 2008), p. 170.
[3] France, R. T., The Gospel of Matthew, The New International Commentary on the New Testament, (Grand Rapids, MI; Eerdmans, 2007), p. 204, "The "woman" in Jesus' declaration is thus to be understood also as another man's wife, and the looking "in order to desire her, "specifically of wanting (and planning?) sexual relations…The focus is thus not (as some tender adolescent consciences have read it) on sexual attraction as such, but on the desire for (and perhaps the planning of) and illicit sexual liaison…."
[4] DeYoung, Kevin, The 10 Commandments, (Wheaton, IL; Crossway, 2018), p. 117.
[5] Hagner, Donald A., Matthew 1-13, The World Biblical Commentary, Volume 33A, (Grand Rapids, MI; Zondervan, 2000), p. 120; Keener (1999), p. 189, "The Greek present text often bears a continuous sense, and probably does so here: Jesus refers not to noticing [author's emphasis] a person's beauty, but to imbibing it, meditating on it, seeking to possess it."
[6] Dickson, John, A Doubter's Guide to the Ten Commandments, (Grand Rapids, MI; Zondervan, 2016), p. 134.
[7] Turner (2008), p. 171.
[8] France (2007), p. 206, "As "removable" parts of the body they [eye and hand] serve to make the point that any loss, however painful, is preferable to the total lostness of geënna [author's emphasis]."
[9] Morris, Leon, The Gospel According to Matthew, The Pillar New Testament Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI; Eerdmans Publishing, 1992), p. 119, quoting Bruner, "Better to go limping into heaven than leaping into hell."
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