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Saturday, November 19, 2022

The Daily Babel: Bethlehem Baby Honored for Starting World’s Favorite Holiday

 

November 26, 2022 – Stephen Sapp


A statue of a baby born in ancient Bethlehem was unveiled today in New York City right outside of the fully decorated Rockefeller Center. 

 

The reason? Instituting the world’s favorite holiday.

 

“For a baby to begin a holiday where I get presents, he deserves to be recognized,” local self-identified middle-aged dad Fred Akers says. “I can’t think of anything better one could do with their life. He deserves to be remembered.”

 

Having celebrated this holiday his entire life, as most Americans have, this 65-year-old man could not contain his excitement for this unveiling. 

 

“It’s just sad it has taken this long for this child to be recognized and revered,” Akers commented. “When one brings this much happiness to the world, he most certainly belongs in the list of my favorite people of all-time.” 

 

When asked what he calls this holiday, Akers stated quickly, “Not Christmas if that’s what you’re getting at.” 

 

Probed why, he ended the conversation by simply saying, “I’m not religious.” 

 

No matter what he calls it, he along with the entire crowd gathered today were excited about this untitled Winter Holiday coming up in just a few, short days.

 

A holiday that people, like Akers, finally know who they can thank for it all.

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